he winter is cold and bitter
It's chilled us to the bone
I haven't seen the sun for weeks
Too long, too far from home
I feel just like I'm sinking
And I claw for solid ground
I'm pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
And oh, darkness I feel like letting go
- Sarah McLachlan "Full of Grace"
Why is time passing by so quickly?
What seemed like an hr ago was actually 3 days ago
What seemed like last week was actually 3 months ago
Argh!!!!!! Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!! I'm losing my mind!!!!!
I don't have enough time. We don't have enough time.
mr thara goose wants to bury his head in the sand and just die.
About Me
Showing posts with label i'm falling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label i'm falling. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Monday, November 20, 2006
Dream… and then follow
‘You have to dream before your dreams can come true’- Abdul Kalam in his auto biography ‘Wings of Fire’.
I have been longing to read this book ‘wings of fire’; finally I could manage to find a book with Abdul Kalam’s signature in it. I started checking my mail daily hoping that the book would reach today. Finally the day has come, the very first sight of book after longing for so many days to read it has been a little disappointment. The book seems to be a mere school text book, but I was delighted on finding Kalam’s signature on the first page.
After I started reading the book I couldn’t help but admire Kalam. He is a person with great knowledge not only in science but also in life. He quoting of different phrases and poems of great writers on almost every page shows how deep inside him are those still existing. Some of them were from his school books. Well, there might me some significance in the appearance of book too… just like Kalam unattractive from outside and knowledgeable and inspirational from inside.
There are few common things I noticed in lives of great achievers; they follow their dreams, their happiness, their passion and love towards it is unconditional. Kalam like any other person joined in BSc math and physics after his intermediate. He later realized that it is not want he wanted. He realized his passion for flying objects, then after completion of BSc he joined in aeronautics engineering. He joined DRDO upon graduation. From there on there was no turning back. He was advancing in his career leaps and bounds. He some times even worked for 100 hrs a week. But he was never exhausted or frustrated with his work… because that is where his happiness lies. And some times you need to encounter with failures too… Kalam was no any exception… his first satellite launch, on which he worked real hard, has been a failure. But he didn’t give up. He fought and fought and at last achieved it.
This reminds me of Nagesh Kukunoor. He was born in a well educated and traditional Telugu family. He was an engineer working in US for a fat pay check. But he was not happy with it. He realized his happiness lies else where… in film making… but how would he dare do it or tell his family… films are considered occupying one secure notch above prostitution in educated families. He had battles in his mind… he felt he is selfish… he is not on world mission to serve humanity… it was his personal search for happiness. Later he could convince himself that even people who give up every thing to serve humanity might have happiness in doing it… may be their pursuit is as selfish as his. Back, he came to India in search of his happiness… films… but he was rejected… people didn’t want to learn from an NRI. At times he doubted his own skills, finally he won the battle…made his first ever film ‘Hyderabad blues’.
Well… there are many achievers who followed the suit… MF Hussain.. Sachin Tendulkar… Shekar Kammula… Kalpana Chawla…many more..the success stories of these achievers show that they just followed their interests,,, … their dreams… and they expected nothing from it, it was purely unconditional… what they pursue from it is beyond worldly… is immaterial…
Well… I am still shuffling my feet not knowing what I want… not knowing where I can find it…I dint know that penning down my thoughts would give me so much pleasure until I started writing blogs… who knows.. sooner or later I would encounter with something I am really made for…
I have been longing to read this book ‘wings of fire’; finally I could manage to find a book with Abdul Kalam’s signature in it. I started checking my mail daily hoping that the book would reach today. Finally the day has come, the very first sight of book after longing for so many days to read it has been a little disappointment. The book seems to be a mere school text book, but I was delighted on finding Kalam’s signature on the first page.
After I started reading the book I couldn’t help but admire Kalam. He is a person with great knowledge not only in science but also in life. He quoting of different phrases and poems of great writers on almost every page shows how deep inside him are those still existing. Some of them were from his school books. Well, there might me some significance in the appearance of book too… just like Kalam unattractive from outside and knowledgeable and inspirational from inside.
There are few common things I noticed in lives of great achievers; they follow their dreams, their happiness, their passion and love towards it is unconditional. Kalam like any other person joined in BSc math and physics after his intermediate. He later realized that it is not want he wanted. He realized his passion for flying objects, then after completion of BSc he joined in aeronautics engineering. He joined DRDO upon graduation. From there on there was no turning back. He was advancing in his career leaps and bounds. He some times even worked for 100 hrs a week. But he was never exhausted or frustrated with his work… because that is where his happiness lies. And some times you need to encounter with failures too… Kalam was no any exception… his first satellite launch, on which he worked real hard, has been a failure. But he didn’t give up. He fought and fought and at last achieved it.
This reminds me of Nagesh Kukunoor. He was born in a well educated and traditional Telugu family. He was an engineer working in US for a fat pay check. But he was not happy with it. He realized his happiness lies else where… in film making… but how would he dare do it or tell his family… films are considered occupying one secure notch above prostitution in educated families. He had battles in his mind… he felt he is selfish… he is not on world mission to serve humanity… it was his personal search for happiness. Later he could convince himself that even people who give up every thing to serve humanity might have happiness in doing it… may be their pursuit is as selfish as his. Back, he came to India in search of his happiness… films… but he was rejected… people didn’t want to learn from an NRI. At times he doubted his own skills, finally he won the battle…made his first ever film ‘Hyderabad blues’.
Well… there are many achievers who followed the suit… MF Hussain.. Sachin Tendulkar… Shekar Kammula… Kalpana Chawla…many more..the success stories of these achievers show that they just followed their interests,,, … their dreams… and they expected nothing from it, it was purely unconditional… what they pursue from it is beyond worldly… is immaterial…
Well… I am still shuffling my feet not knowing what I want… not knowing where I can find it…I dint know that penning down my thoughts would give me so much pleasure until I started writing blogs… who knows.. sooner or later I would encounter with something I am really made for…
Failures stepping stone to success?
‘Success’ the most powerful n momentous word in English language…everybody under the sun wants to be associated with it. Success never comes alone. What not it brings with it, fame, money, and most important a bunch of people who feel haughty for being associated with you.
In our day to day life we come across hundreds of people who glorify their association with the successful people, but how many times will you ever encounter with people who stand by break downs. It is said that failures are stepping stones for success, but how many support a failure. People just mock failure, they ridicule failure.
I was very surprised on knowing the reaction of media to the failure of AGNI missile (a project of DRDL under the directorship of Dr. Abdul Kalam). AGNI is the most prestigious missile developed by our scientists at DRDL. It is the result of the hard work of many scientists, who have been so committed to the project that they even forgot their basic requirements like food and sleep. The work of one Mr. Nagaraj needs to be quoted here; he was so dedicated to it that he couldn’t even attend the death of his family member.
Finally the day has come, the day their hard work is going to be paid off, the day hundreds of scientists are awaiting with zeal, it’s the day of launch of missile. It was a challenge not just for the scientists of DRDL but also the whole nation. Till then India was importing the missiles from other countries, very few countries have the technology required to produce a missile, if it were a success, a small country like India will have an eminent place among world nations. But to every ones disappointment the first attempt of the launch has been failure and the launch has been postponed. The scientists who worked on it were broken, depressed and were quite wretched.
What surprised me the most is the reaction of media to the failure. The press had interpretations of the postponement of the launch in their own way to suit the fancies of their readership. The news paper is the biggest media then with the highest reach. Here are some of the cartoons from different news papers of that time after the failure of first two launches of ‘Agni’ missile.
Cartoonist Sudhir Dar sketched a shopkeeper returning a product to the salesman saying that like ‘Agni’ it would not take off.
Hindustan Times showed a leader consoling press reporters, ‘there is no need for any alarm …it’s a purely peaceful, non violent missile.
The Hindu carried a cartoon showing a villager counting some currency notes and commenting to another, ‘yes…it’s a compensation for moving away from my hut near the test site- a few more postponements and I can build a house of my own.’
Another cartoonist designated AGNI as IDBM- Intermittently Delayed Ballistic Missile.
Another cartoonist showed one ‘Agni’ scientist explaining that the launch had failed because the press button did not make contact.
The only cartoonist who had showed some encouragement is RK Laxman, who drew a ‘Agni’ scientist telling to the press ‘nothing to be discouraged! We have postponed it again because we want to be absolutely certain’
In our day to day life we come across hundreds of people who glorify their association with the successful people, but how many times will you ever encounter with people who stand by break downs. It is said that failures are stepping stones for success, but how many support a failure. People just mock failure, they ridicule failure.
I was very surprised on knowing the reaction of media to the failure of AGNI missile (a project of DRDL under the directorship of Dr. Abdul Kalam). AGNI is the most prestigious missile developed by our scientists at DRDL. It is the result of the hard work of many scientists, who have been so committed to the project that they even forgot their basic requirements like food and sleep. The work of one Mr. Nagaraj needs to be quoted here; he was so dedicated to it that he couldn’t even attend the death of his family member.
Finally the day has come, the day their hard work is going to be paid off, the day hundreds of scientists are awaiting with zeal, it’s the day of launch of missile. It was a challenge not just for the scientists of DRDL but also the whole nation. Till then India was importing the missiles from other countries, very few countries have the technology required to produce a missile, if it were a success, a small country like India will have an eminent place among world nations. But to every ones disappointment the first attempt of the launch has been failure and the launch has been postponed. The scientists who worked on it were broken, depressed and were quite wretched.
What surprised me the most is the reaction of media to the failure. The press had interpretations of the postponement of the launch in their own way to suit the fancies of their readership. The news paper is the biggest media then with the highest reach. Here are some of the cartoons from different news papers of that time after the failure of first two launches of ‘Agni’ missile.
Cartoonist Sudhir Dar sketched a shopkeeper returning a product to the salesman saying that like ‘Agni’ it would not take off.
Hindustan Times showed a leader consoling press reporters, ‘there is no need for any alarm …it’s a purely peaceful, non violent missile.
The Hindu carried a cartoon showing a villager counting some currency notes and commenting to another, ‘yes…it’s a compensation for moving away from my hut near the test site- a few more postponements and I can build a house of my own.’
Another cartoonist designated AGNI as IDBM- Intermittently Delayed Ballistic Missile.
Another cartoonist showed one ‘Agni’ scientist explaining that the launch had failed because the press button did not make contact.
The only cartoonist who had showed some encouragement is RK Laxman, who drew a ‘Agni’ scientist telling to the press ‘nothing to be discouraged! We have postponed it again because we want to be absolutely certain’
Friday, November 10, 2006
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
as i feel
Look at me,
You may think you see
Who I really am,
But you’ll never know me,
Every day, it’s as if I play a part,
Now I see
If I wear mask,
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my Heart…
Who is that girl I see,
Staring straight back at me,
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside…
I am now in a world
Where I have to hide my Heart,
And what I believe in,
But somehow I will show the world,
What’s inside my Heart,
And be loved for who I am…
Who is that girl I see,
Staring straight back at me,
Why is my reflection someone I don’t know…
Must I pretend that I am
Someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside…
There’s a Heart,
That must be free to fly,
That burns with the need to know
The reason why…
Why must we all conceal,
What we think,
How we feel,
Must there be a secret ME,
I am forced to hide…
I won’t pretend that I am
Someone else for all time,
When will my reflection show
Who I am Inside…
Song from Walt Disney Cartoon "Mulan" Sung by Coco Lee
You may think you see
Who I really am,
But you’ll never know me,
Every day, it’s as if I play a part,
Now I see
If I wear mask,
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my Heart…
Who is that girl I see,
Staring straight back at me,
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside…
I am now in a world
Where I have to hide my Heart,
And what I believe in,
But somehow I will show the world,
What’s inside my Heart,
And be loved for who I am…
Who is that girl I see,
Staring straight back at me,
Why is my reflection someone I don’t know…
Must I pretend that I am
Someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside…
There’s a Heart,
That must be free to fly,
That burns with the need to know
The reason why…
Why must we all conceal,
What we think,
How we feel,
Must there be a secret ME,
I am forced to hide…
I won’t pretend that I am
Someone else for all time,
When will my reflection show
Who I am Inside…
Song from Walt Disney Cartoon "Mulan" Sung by Coco Lee
Friday, September 29, 2006
Thoughts on aging.
As I get older, personal change isn't really that noticeable. It's not like you wake up one morning look in the mirror and exlaim: "Fuck I'm old !" But when you start thinking about how great things were 20 years ago and all the stupid crap you got away with and lived through up to this point, it really starts to hit home.
Most of the crazy stuff has stopped. wild women, fast driving, heavy drinking.
It's good to play it safe nowadays because I'm no longer indestructible.
I started working young. After killing myself for several years. I got cynical about the business world and went from idological :
Most of the crazy stuff has stopped. wild women, fast driving, heavy drinking.
It's good to play it safe nowadays because I'm no longer indestructible.
I started working young. After killing myself for several years. I got cynical about the business world and went from idological :
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